boyfriend.

I haven't had a boyfriend for a while. It's been over four years. I've exclusively dated two guys at various times during those four years who, as it turns out, weren't exclusively dating me. Faithful concubine. That sucked.

Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like to have a boyfriend. The last one I had was Lorelai's dad. And that... well... it felt less like a relationship+more like... I don't know what.

ANYWAY.

I wonder what it'd be like to have a boyfriend. One that's like, "Hey. Wanna be my (only) girlfriend?"

I'm mostly ok being single. There's three instances where, everytime they come up, I yell in my head, "I WISH I HAD A BOYFRIEND!"

• When I have to bring the groceries in from my car. Even then, a boyfriend wouldn't be able to help unless he was around when I was bringing the groceries in.
• When I want ice cream late at night. This is a common occurrence. At least twice a week.
• When I want to cook something that I'm sure Lorelai wouldn't appreciate, but a sweetheart would. I cook for her plenty, but I just don't think she'll enjoy my fish tacos. Mostly cus the sauce I use is spicy. I bet a boyfriend would like them!

I mean. There's other times that a boyfriend would be cool. I'm sure you can imagine when. But those three bullet points above make me wish I had a beau every.single.time.

There's a few hurdles that I need to get over before I could be like, "Ok. I'm changing my Facebook status to In A Relationship." Some of them include:

• Lorelai. Can't have a boyfriend without my kid liking, NAY! Loving him. Also, family. My family is so dope. They need to accept him.
• Time. Space. Boundaries. He's got to respect them. I like alone time. I need it for a lot of reasons. Overshare of time/space/boundaries is not gonna work. I love being in good company, but need to be able to decompress or just chill solo.
• Humor. MUST. BE. FUNNY. And must get my humor. This is a big deal. Hot+unfunny is like being Hot+a whale. Like, wtf am I gonna do with that?!
• Trust. Blahblahblah. I don't have major trust issues, per se. I don't have higher trust expectations for a lover than I do anyone else. But I just want to feel good about things.
• etc. etc. etc.

There are some perks, I imagine, to being my sweetheart. Just cus the relationships with Lorelai's dad+my pseudo-boyfriends crashed+burned doesn't mean that I can't have a successful, happy, fulfilling coupledom with someone, right? Here's just a small fraction of why I'd rock as a girlfriend:

• I rock.
• I have my own sh*t.
• I like to build things.
• etc. etc. etc.

This isn't a personal ad or anything. I think I'm managing the single life ok. Sometimes people in relationships are just so bummed all the time. I don't want that. I just want someone that'll eat my tacos.

party cup.

dear mom+dad:

Thank you.

Thank you for staying together+loving us so hard.

Thank you for accepting me for what I am. Cus I'm fucking weird.

Thank you for letting me go when I was an asshole teenager, but thank you even more for taking me back when I finally came to my senses.

Thank you for teaching me what hard work is.

Thank you for showing me what love is+for showing me what love isn't.

Thank you for encouraging me in what I'm good at (photos+words).

Thank you for listening to me even when I don't make sense.

Thank you for being really vague when Olivia+I ask which one of ys you like better.

Thank you for taking us to libraries+parks.

Thank you for giving my kid the most amazing grandparents. Ever. EVER.

Thank you for cooking us good, mostly healthy foods.

Thank you for working towards health yourselves.

Thank you for bbqs every weekend.

Thank you for this beautiful, curly hair+thank you for my freckles+thank you for my hazel eyes+thank you for my awesome bewbs.

Thank you for everything. I could go on. You are SO amazing. And when I meet people you know or when my people meet you, they tell me how awesome you are.

I didn't know how fucked up the general population is. I thought people were like you. They're not. You're both so special.

How the fuck did I get so lucky? I hardly ask myself this, cus that'd be looking some gift horse in the mouth. Instead, I just look forward to talking to you, hanging with you, looking at photos of you+being an object of your love.

Thanks. I love you.

bodega bay.

Took a trip to Bodega Bay with Lorelai+family. I'd never been. Bodega Bay was one of my Grandpa's favorite stomping grounds.

I felt my Grandpa there. I miss him a ton. He passed away.

I'm going back. The drive is nice. The area is pretty. It's perfect for kite flying. There's a seafood festival at the end of August that I'm gonna make a pilgrimage to.

I'll go back as often as I can. It's how I'll reconnect with my Grandpa.

nyia.

This is my niece She is absolutely as grown as she looks in this picture. I love her sass+her kind, kind heart.